The Road to Chicago - Pre-training Day One

Okay - so the official training program for the Chicago Marathon starts on June 1st. So, I figured I would use the next two months to get my butt back out on the road and get used to moving again. Today was day one of the pre-training period. The hysterical thing is that I almost talked myself out of going. I left work, ran Cate to the doctor's, picked up a pizza, and by the time I got home it was 6:00pm. I could hear the gremlin in the back of my head saying - "start tomorrow". But how many tomorrows will there be before there is today?

So, I laced up my shoes, put the dog on the leash (Clover could stand to lose a pound or two) and headed out the door. I wanted to log as many miles as I could before it got too dark and the park trails became too creepy. Happy to say I put in three miles.

I decided to walk the miles today because I haven't had the prerequisite "don't start an exercise program without consulting your doctor" visit to the doctor yet. That happens Wednesday. It's funny they say 40 is the new 20. Maybe in attitude - but the chassis still has 42 years of wear and tear. I plan to work very closely with my chiropractor and my ortho guy to keep this old girl running strong.

Peace.
Tee

Lace up the Shoes

Running is the only sport I ever really embraced. In running there is the wonderful opportunity to not only get your body in shape, but your mind as well. I love runners. The running community is welcoming, they don't care what you look like or if you are fast or slow. If you've got your shoes on, and you're out there logging the miles, then that is all that matters.

I have completed two marathons, a few 10 milers and a bunch of 5ks. I haven't run or raced in awhile because I have let myself get out of shape - weight, motivation, etc. But now that I have lost almost 20 pounds, I feel like I want to get my shoes on again and work at getting in shape. So, to give me a goal to work towards, I have registered for the Chicago Marathon. I love Chicago and their marathon is one that I have always wanted to run. So I have six and a half months to get ready for 26.2 miles. I have to say, I am excited to get started.

I have not been active in my blog in the past months. So, I think as part of my training plan, I will blog my training highs and lows here from now until the big day (with a smattering of other ramblings thrown in).

So, keep this creaky old body in your prayers as I start racking up the miles. Better yet, come to Chicago and cheer me on. Sunday, October 11, 2009.

Peace, love, and miles.
Tee

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is not usually a big deal in our house. I always make sure the kids have the valentines for their parties at school and I appreciate their hand made cards each year. But my husband and I have always been low key.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about love. I am not very traditional in my views about love. I figure you love who you love and in most cases it is bigger than you are. I have my own take on the phenomena of Love of Your Life. I think there is another level to the discussion. I think people have a Love OF Their Life and a Love FOR Their Life. And for many people they are not always the same person.

I am one of those people. I am happily married to the Love FOR My Life and can't imagine life without him. The Love FOR My Life is in it for the long haul - all of the bumps, detours, stretch marks, mortgages, kids, dreams, fears, and crazy that life generally hands out. This is a love that is steady, sustainable, sweet, strong...

I have a Love OF My Life. He was instrumental in helping me grow into the woman I am today. He shaped my political and social beliefs, he challenged me intellectually. Our relationship was based on heat, passion. We burned the candle at both ends. It was a relationship that couldn't sustain itself in that moment. I have no doubt that he loved me and I loved him - I always will. But, he ended up leaving for California. I stayed in Maryland. As it is wont to do, life went on. He found his path and I found mine.

Both of our paths have given us a lot - love, family, children, career fulfillment, happiness.

I recently saw my Of My Life man. In many ways it was as if no time had passed. It was easy talk and to catch up. In that moment twenty odd years ago, it was painful to lose the Love OF My Life but that loss led me to all that I am blessed with today. I think we both appreciated what time had done for both of us.

Peace and Love.

Politics

I have refrained from being political on my blog. Not sure why. It is, after all, my blog. But tonight I feel like I have something to say.

I welcome and respect the fact that my friends and family do not always share my political beliefs. I love a good, thoughtful debate. Your political beliefs do not dictate whether I love you or not.

Barack vs Hillary. I thought that I would go for Hillary 20 months ago when all of this madness began. After all, I love Bill and I respect Hillary and what she stands for. But then I started to pay attention to Barack Obama. His speeches sounded fresh to me. His point of view was interesting. He said some things that needed to be said within the African American community. He said some things that white people needed to hear. He is close to my age. He is a parent of two children close to the ages of my children. He is happily married to a successful, strong woman. Hillary's ideas felt like I had heard them before. I was and am proud of the run she made to the White House and I think she would have been a great President. But when it came to making a choice, I felt like Obama was the man who could bring people together and inspire change.

It is not lost on me that Barack Obama is a black man. The historical impact of a win for Obama is huge. I grew up in an environment where the use of the "N" word was liberal. It always disgusted me. My oldest friend in the world is an African American man called Maurice. We have known each other since the first grade. How could he be my friend when the message at home was so negative? It was hard to understand as a child. I fought against that influence and it is something I still fight today. I am proud that in my lifetime I could see a black man elected president. Dr. King is my personal hero. I did my senior leadership thesis on him. Dr. King dreamed of a day when we would all be judged by the content of our character and not by the color of our skin. Today could be that day.

John McCain. I have a ton of respect for John McCain and the service he has given to our country. I even was intrigued by him as a candidate eight years ago. But his voting record with President Bush (whose leadership I believe has been less than stellar) bothers me a lot. When he declared that the fundamentals of our economy are strong back in September as all hell was breaking loose, I felt like he was out of touch.

Sarah Palin. I have nothing against Sarah Palin. I think if our kids went to school together I might even be friendly with her. But I am not going to vote for her just because she is a woman. I didn't choose Hillary because she was a woman. In addition, Sarah Palin and I are on the opposite end of every issue. Why would I overlook that and vote for her because she is a woman?

I am an issues voter. I have certain things that are non-negotiable to me and frankly, I don't think the Republicans will field a candidate who is pro-choice, pro-gay, more dove than hawk, and so on. To do so would alienate their core. But if they ever do, I'd give them an honest look.

So, I am rooting tonight for Barack Obama because he aligns with who I am.

Republican or Democrat, they key is to vote. You are not allowed to complain about the way things are (or aren't) if you don't vote.

So, regardless of your affiliation, as long as you have a thoughtful opinion, we'll be cool. Peace.

Stopping Time

Right now, the biggest thing in my life that is causing me anxiety is how fast my children are growing up. I feel like time is rushing by and sweeping my small wonderful babies away from me and replacing them with even more wonderful people. It'a all too fast. And lately, I have been so busy at work and traveling that it feels like someone hit the fast forward button.

I have quite literally had episodes where I couldn't get my breath when I realized my son will be 10 in March. Sometimes I look at my daughter and see her dedicated to completing her homework and I wonder who is that determined girl sitting there.

I realized that I will never stop time and that my children will be gone sooner than I'd like but, I think I may have figured out a way to at least slow it down for small chunks of each day. It isn't rocket science and there are parents out there who already do this but the simple thing is that for a moment in the day, I chose my kids and gave myself fully to them instead of trying to be attentive while doing several other things.

On Monday, we took our son to buy a new skateboard. I let myself settle into the moment. I didn't hurry him to make his selections because there were five other things I needed to do. I engaged in a conversation with him about the deck, trucks, and wheels he was choosing. I enjoyed watching him talk about what he knows about skating. I noticed how good his manners were. I was in the moment and for the briefest instant, I could feel time slow down.

Yesterday, I came home from work and instead of hopping on the computer or even starting dinner, I spent time with my daughter teaching her how to ride her skateboard. It wasn't a huge chunk of time but I devoted my attention to her and helping her gain the confidence to ride and even to fall. And for the briefest instant, I could feel time slow down.

To give credit where credit is due - it was actually my husband who helped me to realize that these were the opportunities I needed to slow time since I'll never succeed in stopping it. It's amazing how committing yourself to one thing, one person, one activity for even a small part of the day can help slow down the passage of time and in the process contribute more positively to your memory bank.

Even so, the kids are still growing too fast. Peace.

Gratitude

I have this thing about gratitude. My opinion about people - famous and not - is influenced by the level of gratitude they exhibit in their lives. I can remember watching Pearl Jam accept an award (maybe a Grammy) years ago and being appalled at Eddie Vedder's Speech and his obvious lack of gratitude. It seems that when you achieve the dream you struggle for and benefit from those blessings, then gratitude is required. I haven't bought a Pearl Jam album since and even change the channel when their songs come on the radio.

Gratitude is hard. I try to live each day in gratitude and it's tough. Setbacks are part of progress but it can be hard to remember that. I had the good fortune to meet a man this past week who personifies gratitude. He has lived a life that would have broken most people yet he never gave up. Every setback only served to remind him that he needed to stay focused on the dream. He knew in his gut that life was going to hold more for him and even at the lowest point, he was grateful for the things he did have and for the promise of a new day. He has achieved all of his goals and lives a comfortable life. Yet, he hasn't forgotten the struggle and is gracious to all he meets. When I thanked him for his graciousness, he said (and I am paraphrasing) that when you have been blessed, being gracious and kind is expected.

I was inspired to re-commit myself to being grateful for all in my life - good and bad - since each is a step on the road to my dreams. Peace.

Opening up to Abundance

Finally, at age 41, I am trying to get my financial house in order and wouldn't you know it...the stock market and indeed the entire financial system takes a huge dive. I didn't have much to begin with and now I surely have less. Money is funny. Some people understand it yet to me it has been a complete mystery. My family didn't have money when I was kid and it was not an acceptable dinner table topic.

So, imagine the glee when in my sophomore year of college a bank offered me a credit card. It was seriously a rush. I think the first thing I did was buy a pair of shoes. But the sad thing is I didn't understand credit and I think I paid for those shoes for a year. They turned out to be some of the most expensive shoes I have ever owned.

I struggled with money up until recently when I finally waved the white flag and had my husband take over. He is a puzzle solver so fixing the mess I had made was a challenge for him and an eye opener for both of us. You see, you cannot have wealth in any form until you understand it and respect it. Together we are learning that. We cannot be open to abundance with a wasteful mentality. The two do not mix.

So, my sweet husband manages things and we are beginning to make forward progress. Neither of us wants to work at Walmart when we are 80. So, we are taking steps to make sure that doesn't happen. What I am learning is that when you are respectful of the resources and gifts provided to you or earned by you, you are rewarded. When you are wasteful, it all catches up to you in the end.

So we are riding this wave of economic craziness with an eye toward the future and the goal of receiving abundance because we are finally respecting our resources. No smiley face pin and tacky blue vest for me. Peace.