I do not remember ever wanting a year to end more than I wanted 2009 to end. With the exception of a few very bright spots, 2009 was total shit. The loss of Larry's job, a lot of time spent on the road, a rough relationship with a co-worker, the lack of attention to my beloved Arbonne, the possible loss of our home, and yada yada yada. Bleh!
The start of a new year and a new decade can only bring light to my life. I started the year with a positive performance review at work, renewed energy to my Arbonne team, a glimmer of hope around our house situation, a strong family unit, amazing and supportive friends, and my faith in God.
I think that things happen for a reason - we are on a life path where we have lessons to learn. So, I am resolved to be open to all opportunities, be aware of learning moments, and accept the plan that is in front of me. I don't think the challenges are over. But I think I am ready for them.
Bring it 2010. I am ready for the change - whatever that is.
Peace.
Tee
Monday, January 4, 2010
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Remembering Uncle Kenny
On the day after Thanksgiving, my Uncle Kenny died. He died at home with his two gals - my cousin Sam and my Aunt Janet - at his side. Loss is never easy but I believe that to be present with someone when they transition from this life to whatever is next is in some ways a gift.
My uncle didn't say much, but when he did, it was usually spot on and funny. And he always had nice things to say about my dad. I remember him as generous with his time. I spent the last half of my senior year of high school living with my grandparents. I had had enough of the oppressive environment I grew up with in my mother's house. As an 18 year old, I was very keen to get my driver's license. Since my dad and step-mom didn't live close enough to take me out everyday and my grandparents were smart enough to have other things to do, Uncle Kenny stepped in. He took me out driving and taught me to parallel park so that I could take my driver's test in the spring of 1985. He didn't have to, but he did. This may not seem like a big deal, but to me - by spending that time with me, he gave me the one thing that was missing in my life at that point. My freedom. It was one of the most significant gifts anyone has ever given me.
I also remember him as a loving dad and husband. Sam was the light of his life - he called her Cat. And even though he was very sick at the end of his life, my Aunt Janet and her health and comfort as she dealt with a genetic lung defect and successful lung transplant, were first on his mind.
It doesn't take fame or fortune to leave a mark in this world. Rather, what you say when you do talk and the small and large ways you impact the people around you mean much more as a legacy.
I am reminded of a quote by Emerson that I keep on my desk:
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition.
To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
RIP Uncle Kenny. RIP.
My uncle didn't say much, but when he did, it was usually spot on and funny. And he always had nice things to say about my dad. I remember him as generous with his time. I spent the last half of my senior year of high school living with my grandparents. I had had enough of the oppressive environment I grew up with in my mother's house. As an 18 year old, I was very keen to get my driver's license. Since my dad and step-mom didn't live close enough to take me out everyday and my grandparents were smart enough to have other things to do, Uncle Kenny stepped in. He took me out driving and taught me to parallel park so that I could take my driver's test in the spring of 1985. He didn't have to, but he did. This may not seem like a big deal, but to me - by spending that time with me, he gave me the one thing that was missing in my life at that point. My freedom. It was one of the most significant gifts anyone has ever given me.
I also remember him as a loving dad and husband. Sam was the light of his life - he called her Cat. And even though he was very sick at the end of his life, my Aunt Janet and her health and comfort as she dealt with a genetic lung defect and successful lung transplant, were first on his mind.
It doesn't take fame or fortune to leave a mark in this world. Rather, what you say when you do talk and the small and large ways you impact the people around you mean much more as a legacy.
I am reminded of a quote by Emerson that I keep on my desk:
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition.
To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
RIP Uncle Kenny. RIP.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Spelling Freak
Okay. I admit it. I am a bit of a freak about spelling. I cringe when I see e-mail messages that contain mistakes. I work with someone who sends e-mails on a daily basis with missing words, misspellings, and incomplete thoughts. I have actually hidden people from my FaceBook feed because I can't stand to read their posts full of misspellings. I just got into another heated debate with my son who insists that the mistakes in his spelling homework do not matter.
One of my biggest beefs with Montgomery County Schools is the way that they teach spelling. From kindergarten through second grade a concept called "creative spelling" is in place. It rewards attempts at spelling. The problem is that spelling is not creative. There is one way to spell a word. It is either correct or it isn't. They do not drill on spelling words anymore. Call me old-fashioned, but I think drilling - either verbally or written - is a key to building strong spelling skills.
I was dismayed to hear an educator at my son's school tell me that the most important thing was for my son to get his ideas on paper because things like grammar and spell check would help fill in the holes. Those were not his exact words but the meaning was clear. I don't disagree that good writing is a multi-step process but correct spelling has to be part of that prosess - oops! I mean process.
Peace.
One of my biggest beefs with Montgomery County Schools is the way that they teach spelling. From kindergarten through second grade a concept called "creative spelling" is in place. It rewards attempts at spelling. The problem is that spelling is not creative. There is one way to spell a word. It is either correct or it isn't. They do not drill on spelling words anymore. Call me old-fashioned, but I think drilling - either verbally or written - is a key to building strong spelling skills.
I was dismayed to hear an educator at my son's school tell me that the most important thing was for my son to get his ideas on paper because things like grammar and spell check would help fill in the holes. Those were not his exact words but the meaning was clear. I don't disagree that good writing is a multi-step process but correct spelling has to be part of that prosess - oops! I mean process.
Peace.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Recently, I was sitting with my daughter watching The Wizard of Oz - her first time and my 100th (or more). It never gets old to me. The movie was made in 1939 - 70 years ago and it holds up. I love this movie so much.
I can remember getting ready to graduate from high school and I could not wait to get the hell out of my version of Kansas. I went away to college and met my own personal cast of scarecrows, tin men, cowardly lions, witches, wizards, and even a flying monkey or two. Like most young people I was wondering what was over the rainbow.
So I jumped in with both feet. Studying (a little). Partying (a lot). Meeting new and amazing people. Falling in love. Dealing with a broken heart. Pushing my family away. Pulling them back. Falling back in love. Becoming a wife. Moving away to the west coast. Moving back to the east coast. Becoming a mother. Settling into a typical suburban life.
But even as I settled into my life - and it is a good one - I would catch myself wondering what was over the rainbow. Only recently did I realize that I was -in fact - over the rainbow. Today in church the sermon asked the question - "What will you do with this one wild and precious life?" My answer? Grab on with both hands and drink it all in.
This life with all of its "twisters", has all of the colors of the rainbow. The deep red of true love. The warm orange of contentment. The yellow tinge of uncertainty. The green of possibility. The blue of warm and loving family. The indigo of deep and important friendships. The energetic violet of growing children.
If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again I won't go looking any further than my own back yard. ~ Dorothy
I have found my rainbow.
Peace.
I can remember getting ready to graduate from high school and I could not wait to get the hell out of my version of Kansas. I went away to college and met my own personal cast of scarecrows, tin men, cowardly lions, witches, wizards, and even a flying monkey or two. Like most young people I was wondering what was over the rainbow.
So I jumped in with both feet. Studying (a little). Partying (a lot). Meeting new and amazing people. Falling in love. Dealing with a broken heart. Pushing my family away. Pulling them back. Falling back in love. Becoming a wife. Moving away to the west coast. Moving back to the east coast. Becoming a mother. Settling into a typical suburban life.
But even as I settled into my life - and it is a good one - I would catch myself wondering what was over the rainbow. Only recently did I realize that I was -in fact - over the rainbow. Today in church the sermon asked the question - "What will you do with this one wild and precious life?" My answer? Grab on with both hands and drink it all in.
This life with all of its "twisters", has all of the colors of the rainbow. The deep red of true love. The warm orange of contentment. The yellow tinge of uncertainty. The green of possibility. The blue of warm and loving family. The indigo of deep and important friendships. The energetic violet of growing children.
If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again I won't go looking any further than my own back yard. ~ Dorothy
I have found my rainbow.
Peace.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Gift Giving Madness
We ventured out today into the holiday shopping madness. So many people were out with their long lists attempting to cross everything off that list in the next 30 days. But, we weren't out buying gifts.
We took control of the gift madness a few years ago. My siblings and I decided to forgo gifts for each other in favor of spending that money on spoiling our parents a little more. As adults, we had all reached that point where there really wasn't anything that we needed that we weren't already buying for ourselves.
As for our children, we had gone through a couple of Christmas seasons where we attempted to get them everything they asked for. It was physically (and fiscally) exhausting. And then on Christmas morning they liked one or two things and the rest went unnoticed. We also were searching for a way to tie meaning to a season that has -in my humble opinion - devolved into an orgy of consumerism. We decided return meaning to the holiday and curb the spending by limiting our children to three gifts. Three gifts are what the Christ child was given so it allowed us to remind the children of the Christmas story. Plus, it forced our children to think long and hard about what they really wanted for Christmas rather than blindly circling everything in the Toys R Us circular. And we - as Santa - work very hard to make sure that what is on their lists shows up under the tree.
Most our friends were in disbelief when we started this - but our kids have never complained. And Christmas morning is really a joy. The kids are thrilled with what they open on Christmas morning because they get exactly what they wanted. And we have a leisurely morning actually PLAYING with the toys followed by a family meal and a holiday movie. Christmas Day is lovely.
Peace.
Tee
We took control of the gift madness a few years ago. My siblings and I decided to forgo gifts for each other in favor of spending that money on spoiling our parents a little more. As adults, we had all reached that point where there really wasn't anything that we needed that we weren't already buying for ourselves.
As for our children, we had gone through a couple of Christmas seasons where we attempted to get them everything they asked for. It was physically (and fiscally) exhausting. And then on Christmas morning they liked one or two things and the rest went unnoticed. We also were searching for a way to tie meaning to a season that has -in my humble opinion - devolved into an orgy of consumerism. We decided return meaning to the holiday and curb the spending by limiting our children to three gifts. Three gifts are what the Christ child was given so it allowed us to remind the children of the Christmas story. Plus, it forced our children to think long and hard about what they really wanted for Christmas rather than blindly circling everything in the Toys R Us circular. And we - as Santa - work very hard to make sure that what is on their lists shows up under the tree.
Most our friends were in disbelief when we started this - but our kids have never complained. And Christmas morning is really a joy. The kids are thrilled with what they open on Christmas morning because they get exactly what they wanted. And we have a leisurely morning actually PLAYING with the toys followed by a family meal and a holiday movie. Christmas Day is lovely.
Peace.
Tee
Friday, November 27, 2009
The Madness Begins
I am not a huge fan of the holiday season - there I said it. I know I am not the only one but sometimes it feels like I am.
From October 1st through New Year's Eve, I feel rushed. Christmas Decorations are out before Halloween and the gift buying frenzy begins on Thanksgiving Eve.
My parents were divorced when I was around two or three years old. It was the late 60s and divorce was not as civilized (if it ever is) as it is now with joint custody agreements and the like. We spent every other weekend and two weeks in the summer with my dad. Holidays, we spent with both families.
Ask any kid who spent their whole lives being shuttled between homes on Christmas and they will probably say things like "I got double the amount of gifts." For me, I was sick every Christmas without fail. It was exhausting to wake up on Christmas morning, open gifts at my mom's house, get dressed, get in the car with my dad, go to my grandparent's house, then my dad's house, then my step-grandparent's house, then back to my mom's house. I was pooped and the amount of gifts didn't make up for that. I did not view Christmas as special - but rather another day to get through.
As an adult, as soon as we had kids, I put my foot down. We do not get in the car on Christmas Day. If people want to see us or the kids, then they have to come to us. I did not want my kids to not have time to sit and enjoy the gifts they received. A lazy Christmas is the best as far as I am concerned.
Time has diminished my feelings that Christmas is a chore. But, I still am not a fan of this whole crazy whirlwind.
So in this season on madness - my wish for you is Peace.
Tee
From October 1st through New Year's Eve, I feel rushed. Christmas Decorations are out before Halloween and the gift buying frenzy begins on Thanksgiving Eve.
My parents were divorced when I was around two or three years old. It was the late 60s and divorce was not as civilized (if it ever is) as it is now with joint custody agreements and the like. We spent every other weekend and two weeks in the summer with my dad. Holidays, we spent with both families.
Ask any kid who spent their whole lives being shuttled between homes on Christmas and they will probably say things like "I got double the amount of gifts." For me, I was sick every Christmas without fail. It was exhausting to wake up on Christmas morning, open gifts at my mom's house, get dressed, get in the car with my dad, go to my grandparent's house, then my dad's house, then my step-grandparent's house, then back to my mom's house. I was pooped and the amount of gifts didn't make up for that. I did not view Christmas as special - but rather another day to get through.
As an adult, as soon as we had kids, I put my foot down. We do not get in the car on Christmas Day. If people want to see us or the kids, then they have to come to us. I did not want my kids to not have time to sit and enjoy the gifts they received. A lazy Christmas is the best as far as I am concerned.
Time has diminished my feelings that Christmas is a chore. But, I still am not a fan of this whole crazy whirlwind.
So in this season on madness - my wish for you is Peace.
Tee
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Plain as the Nose on Your Face
This morning, I had a procedure done called Mohs Surgery. It is a specialized form of surgery specific to having skin cancers taken from the face. I had a tumor on the side of my nose that I had been ignoring for the last two years. The tumor is gone now and I have a very attractive (and LARGE) bandage in its place. For the next two weeks we have to monitor the location to see if it heals on its own or if we will need to do a skin graft. I can't lift anything or bend over or do strenuous activity. They told me to take it easy for the next two weeks. For anyone who knows me, that's easier said than done. Taking it easy is not my thing.
I am religious about taking care of my skin and about using sunscreen and staying out of the sun. The doctor said that this cancer was probably the result of a bad burn when I was much younger. Yowza.
I can remember being younger and the highest sunscreen SPF was Coppertone 8. My mother would make me wear a t-shirt. When I was in college, I ignored sunscreen completely. I can remember hanging out on the roof of our sorority house to "get color" (translation - a sunburn) before big fraternity formals. I got blistering sunburns at a Grateful Dead concert and at the Preakness and just from hanging out.
Now, I wear sunscreen everyday. I use excellent skin care products. I can ROCK a hat!
Bottom line is make sure you wear sunscreen ALL year long. Learn to rock a hat. And get your skin checked by a dermatologist every year. Meanwhile, I will be learning to appreciate the new "character" of my nose.
PEACE.
I am religious about taking care of my skin and about using sunscreen and staying out of the sun. The doctor said that this cancer was probably the result of a bad burn when I was much younger. Yowza.
I can remember being younger and the highest sunscreen SPF was Coppertone 8. My mother would make me wear a t-shirt. When I was in college, I ignored sunscreen completely. I can remember hanging out on the roof of our sorority house to "get color" (translation - a sunburn) before big fraternity formals. I got blistering sunburns at a Grateful Dead concert and at the Preakness and just from hanging out.
Now, I wear sunscreen everyday. I use excellent skin care products. I can ROCK a hat!
Bottom line is make sure you wear sunscreen ALL year long. Learn to rock a hat. And get your skin checked by a dermatologist every year. Meanwhile, I will be learning to appreciate the new "character" of my nose.
PEACE.
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