Valentine's Day is not usually a big deal in our house. I always make sure the kids have the valentines for their parties at school and I appreciate their hand made cards each year. But my husband and I have always been low key.
Recently I have been thinking a lot about love. I am not very traditional in my views about love. I figure you love who you love and in most cases it is bigger than you are. I have my own take on the phenomena of Love of Your Life. I think there is another level to the discussion. I think people have a Love OF Their Life and a Love FOR Their Life. And for many people they are not always the same person.
I am one of those people. I am happily married to the Love FOR My Life and can't imagine life without him. The Love FOR My Life is in it for the long haul - all of the bumps, detours, stretch marks, mortgages, kids, dreams, fears, and crazy that life generally hands out. This is a love that is steady, sustainable, sweet, strong...
I have a Love OF My Life. He was instrumental in helping me grow into the woman I am today. He shaped my political and social beliefs, he challenged me intellectually. Our relationship was based on heat, passion. We burned the candle at both ends. It was a relationship that couldn't sustain itself in that moment. I have no doubt that he loved me and I loved him - I always will. But, he ended up leaving for California. I stayed in Maryland. As it is wont to do, life went on. He found his path and I found mine.
Both of our paths have given us a lot - love, family, children, career fulfillment, happiness.
I recently saw my Of My Life man. In many ways it was as if no time had passed. It was easy talk and to catch up. In that moment twenty odd years ago, it was painful to lose the Love OF My Life but that loss led me to all that I am blessed with today. I think we both appreciated what time had done for both of us.
Peace and Love.
