Stopping Time

Right now, the biggest thing in my life that is causing me anxiety is how fast my children are growing up. I feel like time is rushing by and sweeping my small wonderful babies away from me and replacing them with even more wonderful people. It'a all too fast. And lately, I have been so busy at work and traveling that it feels like someone hit the fast forward button.

I have quite literally had episodes where I couldn't get my breath when I realized my son will be 10 in March. Sometimes I look at my daughter and see her dedicated to completing her homework and I wonder who is that determined girl sitting there.

I realized that I will never stop time and that my children will be gone sooner than I'd like but, I think I may have figured out a way to at least slow it down for small chunks of each day. It isn't rocket science and there are parents out there who already do this but the simple thing is that for a moment in the day, I chose my kids and gave myself fully to them instead of trying to be attentive while doing several other things.

On Monday, we took our son to buy a new skateboard. I let myself settle into the moment. I didn't hurry him to make his selections because there were five other things I needed to do. I engaged in a conversation with him about the deck, trucks, and wheels he was choosing. I enjoyed watching him talk about what he knows about skating. I noticed how good his manners were. I was in the moment and for the briefest instant, I could feel time slow down.

Yesterday, I came home from work and instead of hopping on the computer or even starting dinner, I spent time with my daughter teaching her how to ride her skateboard. It wasn't a huge chunk of time but I devoted my attention to her and helping her gain the confidence to ride and even to fall. And for the briefest instant, I could feel time slow down.

To give credit where credit is due - it was actually my husband who helped me to realize that these were the opportunities I needed to slow time since I'll never succeed in stopping it. It's amazing how committing yourself to one thing, one person, one activity for even a small part of the day can help slow down the passage of time and in the process contribute more positively to your memory bank.

Even so, the kids are still growing too fast. Peace.

Gratitude

I have this thing about gratitude. My opinion about people - famous and not - is influenced by the level of gratitude they exhibit in their lives. I can remember watching Pearl Jam accept an award (maybe a Grammy) years ago and being appalled at Eddie Vedder's Speech and his obvious lack of gratitude. It seems that when you achieve the dream you struggle for and benefit from those blessings, then gratitude is required. I haven't bought a Pearl Jam album since and even change the channel when their songs come on the radio.

Gratitude is hard. I try to live each day in gratitude and it's tough. Setbacks are part of progress but it can be hard to remember that. I had the good fortune to meet a man this past week who personifies gratitude. He has lived a life that would have broken most people yet he never gave up. Every setback only served to remind him that he needed to stay focused on the dream. He knew in his gut that life was going to hold more for him and even at the lowest point, he was grateful for the things he did have and for the promise of a new day. He has achieved all of his goals and lives a comfortable life. Yet, he hasn't forgotten the struggle and is gracious to all he meets. When I thanked him for his graciousness, he said (and I am paraphrasing) that when you have been blessed, being gracious and kind is expected.

I was inspired to re-commit myself to being grateful for all in my life - good and bad - since each is a step on the road to my dreams. Peace.

Opening up to Abundance

Finally, at age 41, I am trying to get my financial house in order and wouldn't you know it...the stock market and indeed the entire financial system takes a huge dive. I didn't have much to begin with and now I surely have less. Money is funny. Some people understand it yet to me it has been a complete mystery. My family didn't have money when I was kid and it was not an acceptable dinner table topic.

So, imagine the glee when in my sophomore year of college a bank offered me a credit card. It was seriously a rush. I think the first thing I did was buy a pair of shoes. But the sad thing is I didn't understand credit and I think I paid for those shoes for a year. They turned out to be some of the most expensive shoes I have ever owned.

I struggled with money up until recently when I finally waved the white flag and had my husband take over. He is a puzzle solver so fixing the mess I had made was a challenge for him and an eye opener for both of us. You see, you cannot have wealth in any form until you understand it and respect it. Together we are learning that. We cannot be open to abundance with a wasteful mentality. The two do not mix.

So, my sweet husband manages things and we are beginning to make forward progress. Neither of us wants to work at Walmart when we are 80. So, we are taking steps to make sure that doesn't happen. What I am learning is that when you are respectful of the resources and gifts provided to you or earned by you, you are rewarded. When you are wasteful, it all catches up to you in the end.

So we are riding this wave of economic craziness with an eye toward the future and the goal of receiving abundance because we are finally respecting our resources. No smiley face pin and tacky blue vest for me. Peace.