The Road to Life My Way

Three years ago this month, I decided to go into business for myself as an Independent Arbonne Consultant.  It was not my first foray into network marketing.  I had tried the concept before - with other companies - but I had never found a company or a product line that appealed to me as much as Arbonne.  I had found my "tribe". 

But wait minute, I have a job.  A good job that pays a decent wage.  Why was I looking for something else?  Well, I want more from life than what my job can offer me.  I go to work everyday and use all of my talents to make the organization look good and I have to do it on their terms.  I want to live life on my terms - not 9 to 5 and on a per hour basis. 

Network Marketing, or Multi-level Marketing has been around for years.  Many established brands and companies are network marketing companies.  Arbonne has been in business for over 30 years - longer than many brick and mortar stores.  Donald Trump started his own network marketing company last year.  Robert Kiyosaki encourages people who work for him to pursue network marketing opportunities as part time jobs.  Warren Buffet owns Pampered Chef.  Network Marketing is taught in Harvard Business School. 

Network marketing removes the "middle men" and the associated expenses and allows consumers access to high quality products at a reasonable price.  Arbonne researches and develops botanical swiss skin care.  Swiss skin care is considered ultra-premium, is the best in the world, and is out of reach for the average consumer.  Selling the products through a network of consultants not only allows for consumer access but also for the development of many small businesses.  And small businesses give back to their communities - charitable donations, little league sponsorships, tax revenue, and the like. 

Many people don't realize that they network market every day.  When someone asks me where I bought my jeans, or shoes, or handbag and I tell them the name of the store, the store took advantage of my network.  But I am not getting paid for the referral. When they ask me why my skin looks so great and I introduce them to Arbonne, then my networking pays off for me.

Network Marketing allows people the opportunity to build their own businesses - personal franchises - without the financial investment of a traditional franchise.  Brick and mortar stores can require an investment of several hundred thousand dollars and intensive time and inventory.  And if they fail, there is the matter of the debt created to start the business.  I started my business for less than $100 and I have no debt and no inventory.  If I walked away tomorrow, I would be left with amazing products that I use everyday anyway. 

Building this business has not been easy. It is a simple concept and it requires time and attention.   You set your own pace for success.  I have had highs and lows.  Recently, my business slowed when I was dealing with some personal stress.  However, quitting was never an option - I believe in the network marketing model.  So this fall I redefined my goals and relaunched my business.  As I work to rebuild it, I will blog about the ups and downs of working to achieve the goals I set for myself.  

Peace.
 

Wading into the Fray

I have been hesitant to wade into the fray about the mosque site near Ground Zero.  I am firm in my belief that everyone has a right to their own opinion and I try to listen patiently - even when I disagree.  I'm not always successful.

I believe - firmly - that there is no one path to God.  Until someone has a seat next to God and tells me otherwise, all paths, when practiced with faith and love, are legitimate.

A couple of things about this national discussion bother me. 
1.  I see so many people on FaceBook "liking" the I do not support a Mosque 600 feet from Ground Zero page.  In checking the facts, I learned that the Cordoba site is 1/4 mile away from the WTC site.  1/4 mile is 1,320 feet. Additionally, the building plan is for a community center with a place for prayer - in a building that looks like any other city building.  No middle eastern architecture - minarets, domes, spires, etc.  No calls to prayer over loud speakers.
2. I had a friend post on FB asking who Obama is working for when he expresses that the center should be allowed to be built.  My hopeful answer to the friend's question is - I hope the President is working for a country built on religious freedom, a people composed of many faiths and one that respects private property rights. 
3. The discussion hardly seems to contain references to the many Muslim Americans who died in the attacks of September 11.  As pointed out by Matt Sledge in the Huffington Post, the World Trade Center site itself is already a place for Muslim prayer; by the families who lost their loved ones the day of the attacks.
4. I hear so many people call the building of the Cordoba center an insult to the memory of those who died on 9/11.  I believe the bigger insult lies in many members of Congress blocking a move to provide lifetime medical care to the men and women who responded to the tragedy and suffer numerous maladies.  Those people deserve our care. 
5. Why are we so afraid of each other?  No matter how define ourselves - Christian, Muslim, Irish, Italian, Jewish, Latin, Gay, Straight, etc. - we are all Americans.  If you don't understand something that is different than you or your beliefs, ask questions.  Most world religions are built on the same foundations - just using different languages.
6. Building on the Cordoba site is insensitive.  But really, Islam is not responsible for the deaths on 9/11.  Radical nut jobs with a distorted view of the Koran did.  To say Islam is responsible is like saying all Christians are responsible for the guy who protests at military funerals, or for Timothy McVie who bombed the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City.  Both President Bush and President Obama has said that our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are not against Islam.
7. Building on the site is a sign of Triumph or Domination.  As Curt Day wrote in OpEd News, if we use the sign of triumph and domination arguement, then couldn't the same be said for every Christian Church built in a non-Christian country?  Is the difference that one of the religions is not Christian?

The day the towers fell rocked me to my core.  It is my hope that the lingering pain of 9/11 does not turn us into the people we most fear - radical nut jobs who have lost tolerance and are determined to group all people from one faith/one country/one region into the category of those who should be feared. 

Peace.

Censor Mom - NOT!

I just read my friend Johnna's blog (http://itsmylife-johnna.blogspot.com/2010/06/raising-confident-independent-children.html) about raising independent, confident children.  Good stuff.  Reading her blog got me thinking.

I think I am a good mom.  And, frankly, I am flying by the seat of my pants when it comes to mothering because I did not have a strong example.  But, I have also felt different as a mother.  I really don't want this post to be an attack on other women's mothering choices - You raise your kids your way.  And women are too critical of each other anyway.  However, I do want to give voice to one of my differences.

I am not a censor mom.  I started out trying to keep up with everyone and not let my kids watch or listen to things that were rated above them.  It's crazy.  We recently implemented a cut back on the amount of TV and video games we watch each week. Not because of the content but because it became a time suck.

I believe that film and music and - to some degree -  TV are art.  I have tried to shield my kids from overt sex and violence for the sake of violence and really mature themes and I think I have been successful.  But my kids have watched Grease (said one mom - "You let your kids watch Grease!  They talk about pregnancy.") and Road Warrior along with Shrek and the Incredibles. 

My kids and I sing along in the car and have dance parties in our house to rock and rap music. 

Besides, have you actually sat and watched "kids shows"?  Most of the live action humor comes from cut downs, sly insults, making fun of the class dweeb, disrespect for teachers, parents who are buffoons, etc.  How on earth is that better for our kids to watch?  I find that my kids are mouthier and more disrespectful after watching those types of programs than after anything we watch together.

I think popular culture opens doors for discussion with our kids.  For example when my son has a question about rap lyrics (especially if they are not Old School) we have an honest discussion about respect for women and getting caught up in material possessions and the concept of "Swagger".  Old School rap allows for a discussion about poverty, frustration, and the need to look for opportunity around you.  My kids and I sing classic rock songs together and we talk about what things were like 30 years ago (they love hearing about when I was younger - Connor says "Back when everything was in black and white.").

Movies and television allow for discussions about how we interact with each other as a people, the difference between right and wrong, crime never pays, true love, etc.

People ask me, "Do you really have those types of conversations with your kids?"  You bet I do.  My kids know they can ask me anything.  I might giggle, squirm or be uncomfortable but I am always honest, I stay at their level and I try not  to over share.

Peace.

A Chapter Closes

Today, we went to the school to "Clap Out" the 5th Grade class.  Clapping Out is a really charming, lovely ceremony where the school community - parents, teachers, staff, and other students - line the halls to applaud the fifth grade class as they leave the building for the last time. Some kids were stoic, some were excited, and many were bawling their eyes out.  I can imagine how they felt - leaving the little pond isn't easy.  My son is uncomfortable with anything overly emotional - he just wanted to get a Slurpee.

Six years ago, my son finished pre-school and I was terrified of him starting kindergarten in "Big School".  Now, he has finished "Big School" and is moving on to an even bigger school.  Middle School scares the hell out of me.  I have this vision of the inmates running the asylum - all hormones and aggression and drama.   And even scarier is the thought of my kid riding the middle school bus.  The whole thing makes me want to go fetal.

Friends who have gone through Middle School assure me that we'll emerge on the other side just fine. We'll see.  My fingers, toes, and eyes are all crossed.  And I wonder if my parenting skills are up for it. 

The No TV/Video Games Adventure Continues

Today, my son was home sick from school.   I stayed home with him and before my husband left this morning he said "Are you going to let him watch TV?"  My answer was "No."  My husband said I was brave.  Because what does a person normally do when they are home sick?  Curl up on the sofa and channel surf.  We made it through the whole day with no TV and no video games.  Connor asked me a couple of times to make an exception but I stuck to my guns.  I knew if I made this exception, making more would be easy.

Instead of TV he spent the day resting, on modifying his Nerf guns, and drawing.

So on day three of the no TV and video games during the week adventure, I actually really like the lack of background noise and the whole house feels calmer. 

We can tune back in from 7:00pm Friday until 9:30pm on Sunday.  My hope is that as we get used to life without the TV and XBox, they won't play such a central role in what we do each day.

We are giving up TV and Video Games - Day 1

A friend of mine recently posted some stats about television and video games and their  impact on kids.  Now these stats were not new to me - I had seen or heard them before.  However, I have never been overly strict about what my kids watch.  I mean, I don't take them to R-rated movies and I have a parental block on certain shows and networks.  But they watch the evening news - which is probably as bad as any R-rated movie.

This probably won't win me any mother of the year awards but, my kids watch CSI with their father.  They are fascinated by the science around solving crimes.  They have learned that - crime doesn't pay - and you are going to get caught because there is always evidence.  My son watches anything to do with World War II.  He is fascinated by weapons.  He is also learning history.  We try to have a family movie night each week.

BUT, it has been nagging at me lately that some of my son's behavioral issues stem from what he sees and hears on some of the shows he watches.  And not shows like CSI - I mean the teen and "tween" shows on Nick and Disney.  The way the kid characters talk and relate to each other is ridiculous and rude. 

It also has been nagging me that we get swallowed up into the sofa and lost in TV when we have things we should be doing around the house, we could be exercising, I have a business to run, and the family needs to relate to each other.

So, I challenged my husband (who is a HUGE TV addict) to establish and stick to a plan where we only watch TV From Friday at 7:00pm until Sunday at 10:00pm.  I figure that with the DVR we won't miss anything we consider "must see". Instead, we'll watch it over the weekend if we have time.  My husband asked if we could make an exception for the evening news (which in his mind starts at 4:00pm and ends at 7:30pm) and I said "No. That's why we subscribe to the newspaper."  He grumbled but agreed.

Last night was the first night without TV.  My son complained but when I told him that this was the new world order and he would have to start being creative with his time, he took out paper and pen and started to draw super heroes and characters from his video games.  I also suggested reading (which he hates), yoga, board games, day dreaming, chores.  I was thrilled because the dinner dishes were done, the main floor dusted and vaccuumed, and laundry started.  PLUS we played Yahtzee - all while listening to swing music.  I thought it was one of the better, calmer nights we have spent together in awhile. 

Day one seemed easy.  We'll see how the second day plays out. 

Tiger

Since the whole Tiger Woods story broke - I really haven't commented much.  Something about this story struck a note in me.  Tiger Woods has been in the public eye since he was a three year old golf phenom.  His destiny was set for him before he was fully potty trained.  When I think about this I think - Whoa!  For all of Tiger's money I an not sure I would want that.  What kind of pressure that must be - an entire sport and its fans waiting for you to grow up and breathe life into an old man's game. 

Tiger got caught. He has attempted to put his family back together. Was it for real or for show? Does it matter? If Tiger wasn't famous, he'd just be the target of some nasty gossip in some banal suburban neighborhood somewhere.  But at least he'd have the opportunity to solve a family crisis without the added pressure of a star-fucking, paparazzi fueled popular culture.

People are going to believe what they want based on their own moral compass. I think our culture of celebrity worship has taken away the opportunity for people to handle private matters privately. I feel like we build these people up to tear them down - we sit and wait for the next big celebrity flame out. Tiger has made a lot of money based on a wholesome image and with that he carries the expectation to be hero or role model - whether he wants that burden or not.

I think people are complicated beings and you need to accept them where they are. I feel like we have become a culture long on blame and doubt and short on forgiveness.

He without sin...

In With the New

I do not remember ever wanting a year to end more than I wanted 2009 to end.  With the exception of a few very bright spots, 2009 was total shit.  The loss of Larry's job, a lot of time spent on the road, a rough relationship with a co-worker, the lack of attention to my beloved Arbonne, the possible loss of our home, and yada yada yada.  Bleh! 

The start of a new year and a new decade can only bring light to my life.  I started the year with a positive performance review at work, renewed energy to my Arbonne team, a glimmer of hope around our house situation, a strong family unit, amazing and supportive friends, and my faith in God. 

I think that things happen for a reason - we are on a life path where we have lessons to learn.  So, I am resolved to be open to all opportunities, be aware of learning moments, and accept the plan that is in front of me.  I don't think the challenges are over.  But I think I am ready for them.

Bring it 2010.  I am ready for the change - whatever that is.

Peace.
Tee