Remembering Uncle Kenny

On the day after Thanksgiving, my Uncle Kenny died.  He died at home with his two gals - my cousin Sam and my Aunt Janet - at his side.  Loss is never easy but I believe that to be present with someone when they transition from this life to whatever is next is in some ways a gift.

My uncle didn't say much, but when he did, it was usually spot on and funny.  And he always had nice things to say about my dad.  I remember him as generous with his time.   I spent the last half of my senior year of high school living with my grandparents.  I had had enough of the oppressive environment I grew up with in my mother's house.  As an 18 year old, I was very keen to get my driver's license.  Since my dad and step-mom didn't live close enough to take me out everyday and my grandparents were smart enough to have other things to do, Uncle Kenny stepped in.   He took me out driving and taught me to parallel park so that I could take my driver's test in the spring of 1985. He didn't have to, but he did.  This may not seem like a big deal, but to me - by spending that time with me, he gave me the one thing that was missing in my life at that point.  My freedom.  It was one of the most significant gifts anyone has ever given me.

I also remember him as a loving dad and husband.  Sam was the light of his life - he called her Cat.  And even though he was very sick at the end of his life, my Aunt Janet and her health and comfort as she dealt with a genetic lung defect and successful lung transplant, were first on his mind.

It doesn't take fame or fortune to leave a mark in this world.  Rather, what you say when you do talk and the small and large ways you impact the people around you mean much more as a legacy. 

I am reminded of a quote by Emerson that I keep on my desk:

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition.
To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. 

RIP Uncle Kenny.  RIP.

Spelling Freak

Okay.  I admit it.  I am a bit of a freak about spelling.  I cringe when I see e-mail messages that contain mistakes.  I work with someone who sends e-mails on a daily basis with missing words, misspellings, and incomplete thoughts.  I have actually hidden people from my FaceBook feed because I can't stand to read their posts full of misspellings.  I just got into another heated debate with my son who insists that the mistakes in his spelling homework do not matter.

One of my biggest beefs with Montgomery County Schools is the way that they teach spelling.  From kindergarten through second grade a concept called "creative spelling" is in place.  It rewards attempts at spelling.  The problem is that spelling is not creative.  There is one way to spell a word.  It is either correct or it isn't.  They do not drill on spelling words anymore.  Call me old-fashioned, but I think drilling - either verbally or written - is a key to building strong spelling skills.

I was dismayed to hear an educator at my son's school tell me that the most important thing was for my son to get his ideas on paper because things like grammar and spell check would help fill in the holes.  Those were not his exact words but the meaning was clear.  I don't disagree that good writing is a multi-step process but correct spelling has to be part of that prosess - oops! I mean process.

Peace.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Recently, I was sitting with my daughter watching The Wizard of Oz - her first time and my 100th (or more). It never gets old to me. The movie was made in 1939 - 70 years ago and it holds up. I love this movie so much.

I can remember getting ready to graduate from high school and I could not wait to get the hell out of my version of Kansas. I went away to college and met my own personal cast of scarecrows, tin men, cowardly lions, witches, wizards, and even a flying monkey or two. Like most young people I was wondering what was over the rainbow.

So I jumped in with both feet. Studying (a little). Partying (a lot). Meeting new and amazing people. Falling in love. Dealing with a broken heart. Pushing my family away. Pulling them back. Falling back in love. Becoming a wife. Moving away to the west coast. Moving back to the east coast. Becoming a mother. Settling into a typical suburban life.

But even as I settled into my life - and it is a good one - I would catch myself wondering what was over the rainbow. Only recently did I realize that I was -in fact - over the rainbow. Today in church the sermon asked the question - "What will you do with this one wild and precious life?" My answer? Grab on with both hands and drink it all in.

This life with all of its "twisters", has all of the colors of the rainbow. The deep red of true love. The warm orange of contentment. The yellow tinge of uncertainty. The green of possibility. The blue of warm and loving family. The indigo of deep and important friendships. The energetic violet of growing children.

If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again I won't go looking any further than my own back yard. ~ Dorothy

I have found my rainbow.

Peace.

Gift Giving Madness

We ventured out today into the holiday shopping madness. So many people were out with their long lists attempting to cross everything off that list in the next 30 days. But, we weren't out buying gifts.

We took control of the gift madness a few years ago. My siblings and I decided to forgo gifts for each other in favor of spending that money on spoiling our parents a little more. As adults, we had all reached that point where there really wasn't anything that we needed that we weren't already buying for ourselves.

As for our children, we had gone through a couple of Christmas seasons where we attempted to get them everything they asked for. It was physically (and fiscally) exhausting. And then on Christmas morning they liked one or two things and the rest went unnoticed. We also were searching for a way to tie meaning to a season that has -in my humble opinion - devolved into an orgy of consumerism. We decided return meaning to the holiday and curb the spending by limiting our children to three gifts. Three gifts are what the Christ child was given so it allowed us to remind the children of the Christmas story. Plus, it forced our children to think long and hard about what they really wanted for Christmas rather than blindly circling everything in the Toys R Us circular. And we - as Santa - work very hard to make sure that what is on their lists shows up under the tree.

Most our friends were in disbelief when we started this - but our kids have never complained. And Christmas morning is really a joy. The kids are thrilled with what they open on Christmas morning because they get exactly what they wanted. And we have a leisurely morning actually PLAYING with the toys followed by a family meal and a holiday movie. Christmas Day is lovely.

Peace.

Tee

The Madness Begins

I am not a huge fan of the holiday season - there I said it. I know I am not the only one but sometimes it feels like I am.

From October 1st through New Year's Eve, I feel rushed. Christmas Decorations are out before Halloween and the gift buying frenzy begins on Thanksgiving Eve.

My parents were divorced when I was around two or three years old. It was the late 60s and divorce was not as civilized (if it ever is) as it is now with joint custody agreements and the like. We spent every other weekend and two weeks in the summer with my dad. Holidays, we spent with both families.

Ask any kid who spent their whole lives being shuttled between homes on Christmas and they will probably say things like "I got double the amount of gifts." For me, I was sick every Christmas without fail. It was exhausting to wake up on Christmas morning, open gifts at my mom's house, get dressed, get in the car with my dad, go to my grandparent's house, then my dad's house, then my step-grandparent's house, then back to my mom's house. I was pooped and the amount of gifts didn't make up for that. I did not view Christmas as special - but rather another day to get through.

As an adult, as soon as we had kids, I put my foot down. We do not get in the car on Christmas Day. If people want to see us or the kids, then they have to come to us. I did not want my kids to not have time to sit and enjoy the gifts they received. A lazy Christmas is the best as far as I am concerned.

Time has diminished my feelings that Christmas is a chore. But, I still am not a fan of this whole crazy whirlwind.

So in this season on madness - my wish for you is Peace.

Tee

Plain as the Nose on Your Face

This morning, I had a procedure done called Mohs Surgery. It is a specialized form of surgery specific to having skin cancers taken from the face. I had a tumor on the side of my nose that I had been ignoring for the last two years. The tumor is gone now and I have a very attractive (and LARGE) bandage in its place. For the next two weeks we have to monitor the location to see if it heals on its own or if we will need to do a skin graft. I can't lift anything or bend over or do strenuous activity. They told me to take it easy for the next two weeks. For anyone who knows me, that's easier said than done. Taking it easy is not my thing.

I am religious about taking care of my skin and about using sunscreen and staying out of the sun. The doctor said that this cancer was probably the result of a bad burn when I was much younger. Yowza.

I can remember being younger and the highest sunscreen SPF was Coppertone 8. My mother would make me wear a t-shirt. When I was in college, I ignored sunscreen completely. I can remember hanging out on the roof of our sorority house to "get color" (translation - a sunburn) before big fraternity formals. I got blistering sunburns at a Grateful Dead concert and at the Preakness and just from hanging out.

Now, I wear sunscreen everyday. I use excellent skin care products. I can ROCK a hat!

Bottom line is make sure you wear sunscreen ALL year long. Learn to rock a hat. And get your skin checked by a dermatologist every year. Meanwhile, I will be learning to appreciate the new "character" of my nose.

PEACE.

Closed Door - Open Window

There is a quote that says - when a door closes a window opens. Well, our family is dealing with the closed door and looking hopefully for the open window. After waiting for an answer for six weeks, we found out two days ago, that my husband's position will not be renewed at the end of the year. After 11 years on the project, it is now time to look for something new.

The loss of his position will have a huge impact on our family. If he does not get a new position before the current one ends, we will join the ranks of Americans all over the country who face losing their homes, the destruction of their credit rating, and other significant changes to lifestyle and sense of security.

My husband has made a significant contribution to the project he has worked on for 11 years - as a matter of fact he is the only person left from the original team. The project allowed for him to work from home and be the primary caregiver to our two children. He is a great Dad and has raised two amazing young people.

The problem - after 11 years working from home and raising kids - he more than likely will have to go back out into the traditional work force. This may not seem like a problem, tons of people face it everyday. But for people like my husband or other stay at home parents (or people who have stayed home to care for their aging parents), returning to the workforce is tough because our society does not value time spent on these endeavors. Time out of the traditional workforce to do these activities is not recognized by most potential employers. It makes me sad.

I am trying to see the possibilities of this. If we lose our house - it really is just a pile of bricks. If we have to move to a new neighborhood - new friends. If we take a credit rating hit - we'll rebuild it. When we tell our kids - they'll see that their parents are committed to maintaining a positive attitude and learn the lesson that hardship is temporary and can be over come. All that matters is that the four of us land somewhere together with our minds on what is possible.

I already knew this but we have amazing friends who are doing their very best to point us in the direction of any open window. For them, we are grateful.

PEACE.

You are What You Eat

I co-facilitate a healthy living group every Monday night. The purpose of the group is to provide information and support to people who are interested in living an abundant, healthy life. It is an outgrowth of my Arbonne business.

One of the things we look at are the choices we make when it comes to food. This morning I pulled this article from YAHOO! News because it caused a lightbulb to go off for me. I have suffered from a low level of depression for years. It didn't occur to me that food could be a culprit but it makes perfect sense. As I continue to educate myself about my relationship with food, managing my depressive symptoms will be something I always consider when I am making food choices.

More and more I realize that you are - in fact - what you eat.

PEACE.


LONDON (AFP) – A diet heavy in processed and fatty foods increases the risk of depression, according to British research published on Monday.

Researchers at University College London also found that a diet including plenty of fresh vegetables, fruit and fish could help prevent the onset of depression.

They compared participants -- all civil servants -- who ate a diet largely based on "whole" foods with a second group who mainly ate fried food, processed meat, high-fat dairy products and sweetened desserts.

Taking into account other indicators of a healthy lifestyle such as not smoking and taking physical exercise, those who ate the whole foods had a 26 percent lower risk of depression than those who ate mainly processed foods.

People with a diet heavy in processed food had a 58 percent higher risk of depression.

The researchers put forward several explanations for the findings, which are published in the British Journal of Psychiatry.

Firstly, the high level of antioxidants in fruits and vegetables could have a protective effect, as previous studies have shown higher antioxidant levels to be associated with a lower risk of depression.

Secondly, eating lots of fish may protect against depression because it contains high levels of the sort of polyunsaturated fatty acids which stimulate brain activity.

And they said it was possible that a "whole food" diet protects against depression because of the combined effect of consuming nutrients from lots of different types of food, rather than the effect of one single nutrient.

The researchers concluded: "Our research suggests that healthy eating policies will generate additional benefits to health and well-being, and that improving people's diet should be considered as a potential target for preventing depressive disorders."

The study was carried out on 3,486 people with an average age of 55, who worked for the civil service in London.

Each participant completed a questionnaire about their eating habits, and a self-assessment for depression.

Shades of Grey

Why do we as a people insist on seeing things as black or white? To do so ignores the shades of grey that surround everything and everybody. To view things and people in black and white causes a loss of subtlety and nuance. It takes away the thrill of seeking to know people as individuals and issues as complex.

When are we going to learn the value of debate and discourse? In my opinion, the person who goes right for the inflammatory aspects of an issue, is an example of someone who has not taken the time, or does not have the interest in trying to understand the issue from a 360' perspective. To examine an issue from all sides and from top to bottom can strengthen your own beliefs and opinions or it could change your mind.

It seems to me that the existence of the art of compromise is tenuous. It's all or nothing. It's black or white. Yet, in reality, all or nothing does not work. Our democracy was built on the debate of people with differing views of the way a new country should be built and who understood that to come to agreement together - compromise - would make for a stronger foundation on which the new country could grow.

Chicago or Bust - Looks LIke Bust

So, I had to finally make a very tough decision. I am not in race shape for the Chicago Marathon. It sucks. No other way to say it. This summer has been plagued by small injury after small injury and everytime I would try to catch up on mileage, I couldn't do it. I am super bummed.

However, since one of the tennents of my Abundnant Healthy Living group is to choose the Bright Train, I am going to look at the positive side to all of this.

I can allow my feet to heal over the next month or two and get back on a training schedule for a late spring early summer marathon. I think this experience has taught me that I need a longer training window than I did ten years ago when I ran my first marathon. Face it, 42 is a different than 32. Training for Chicago has brought my weight down, lifted my spirits and brought running back into my life. All amazing things.

So, while Chicago in 2009 is a bust. A spring run in 2010 is definitely on the agenda. And I'll be healthier and faster for that race because I took care of myself now.

Peace.

Just Listen

The whole uproar around the remarks President Obama will deliver to our children tomorrow has been stewing in my mind and in my heart for the last week. I understand and respect that not everyone agrees with my point-of-view. I don't expect them to and -in fact- I love a spirited debate with folks from opposing views. I think it keeps me sharp and I believe we can always learn from each other.

I have heard the phrase "I don't want my children indoctrinated." This is stunning to me. I heard this before the White House even released the content of the speech. I would argue that the smart person looks at the content of something before dismissing it out of hand. The content of the speech is something we all need to be reminded of - the value of hard work, the opportunity available to anyone who works hard and believes in the power of their dreams. If you are going to "indoctrinate" someone I would hope it would be into that mindset. This isn't a democrat or republican ideal. No one school of thought owns this way of thinking. We all do. It's a key element to being human and a cornerstone of American culture.

Here's an idea. How about engaging your child(ren) in a debate after the speech? Watch it together. Read it together. If the President says something that is contrary to what your family believes, point it out. Explain why you feel the way you do. Ask for your kids opinions. Let them test the waters of expressing themselves to you. I believe that the fair thing is to expose children to all sides of an issue in a way that is appropriate to age and understanding. This sharpens their critical thinking ability. A person with a 360 view is better able to engage in discussion and seek common ground. The ability to facilitate opposing viewpoints to reach agreement is a valuable skill.

I get so angry at people who go right to partisanship. Listening to the President is not a signal that you agree with him or his policies. It is however, a sign of respect for the office. I happen to be a liberal democrat. I wanted to pull my hair out every time George W. Bush opened his mouth. But, he was the President and I listened - anyone who shoulders the problems of a whole country deserves that. I believe that doing so made me smarter, more aware, and better able to engage in conversation. It did not make me a republican.

President Bush delivered a similar address during his tenure in office. I remember hardly any uproar. And those kids were not "indoctrinated" (at least to my knowledge). I think the difference here is that our ability to communicate effectively via electronic methods has grown so dramatically. It's easier and cheaper to reach out to anyone and everyone - and our kids are the savviest of all.

Tomorrow is an opportunity. For discussion. For inspiration. For the reinforcement of the message of our value system. Plug in.

Peace.

Training Update

My training for Chicago this last month can be summarized by one word - Ugh!. I have been battling the most random, small injuries that seem to derail me for a few days of RICE. But then the trick becomes when do I make up the lost mileage? Sheesh. I have had groin pulls, stress fractures, back tweeks, and bad attitude days. I should be hitting the 20 mile mark this weekend and that is not looking likely.

So what is going on? Was it too much to think I could train for 26.2 over five months? At 42 do I need a longer training window? Apparantly my body thinks so. Am I just not mentally tough enough right now to push through? Probably. It's funny - when I started running 20 years ago, pushing through an injury in the name of a race was no big deal. Now, I feel like pushing through will lead to a broken hip or something equally associated with being old.

There are three US and one international marathons I have always wanted to do - Marine Corp, Chicago, Boston, and Dublin. So, I am not happy at the prospect of delaying Chicago for a year, but more and more, it looks like that is the decision I will have to make. (insert big sigh)

I am heading out for a run tonight. We'll see how it goes.

Peace.

Happy New Year

I know that a blog entry titled Happy New Year may seem weird on August 31 but for me, the first day of school always feels like the beginning of a new year. There is something about school supplies, new shoes and clothes, and the slip back into a predictable routine that feels more like the start of something new than the actual start of a new calendar year ever does.

When I was a kid I loved school. It was my only means of escape from a home life that was less than ideal. I went to school sick just so I could get out of the house. I had perfect attendance every year until I got to high school (then came the boyfriend and the discovery that cutting class was fun). Summers were long and dull and I couldn't wait for them to be over. Funny, I still sort of feel that way as an adult.

My kids like school - they don't love it. I actually view that as a good thing. They like their home life and are not trying to get away from Larry and me. So, we must be doing something right as parents. That is important to me because it signifies that I have broken a destructive family pattern/dynamic.

So while the rest of the world is lamenting the pending closing of the pool, worrying about helping their kids with math homework they ave forgotten how to do, and cursing the return of DC traffic, I am celebrating. I celebrate the return of predictable routines, the packing of endless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and volunteering for the PTA. If you could see me now, you'd see me with my funny hat and noise maker heralding the arrival of yet another new year.

Happy New Year!

Peace.

Training Update

After a two week break to recover from some health stuff, I am back to training for Chicago. It is amazing to me to see that my body has forgotten all of the training progress I had made. It feels like I am starting over from scratch. Not good when the long run this weekend is 8 miles.

I really like the way I feel when I am training. I feel strong, and fit, and have more confidence. I don't want to lose this momentum. Even after I complete the marathon in October, I would like to continue to run about 15-20 miles a week and participate in the odd 5 or 10K.

But, as we all know, I am not as young as I was when I ran my first marathon 10 years ago. Training is hard. I have some back issues and my left IT band is a mess. My biggest fear is that I'll put in the miles and then the body will give out before I have a chance to run Chicago.

So, I'll be out putting in the miles and trying to catch up in my program and hopefully my body will cooperate. Chicago or Bust!

Peace.

Vulnerable

I have been thinking a lot in the past few days about feeling vulnerable. My husband has begun to feel vulnerable in his job - this after 11 years on the contract. He feels like the new folks on the project are watching his every move. He's not sure why since he has never given them any reason. As a matter of fact he is the only person who has been with the project since it started. All of the project memory resides with him. My heart aches for him because I know that feeling vulnerable is not fun.

I have always said that I was surprised at how vulnerable being a mother would make me feel. It is like walking around with your heart on the outside of your body. I adore my kids - they are amazing people and the lights of my life. But, if I am honest, I think that if I had known about the vulnerability I would have second guessed having a family. Thank God, I didn't know or I would have missed out on the daily blessings my kids provide me.

On the other hand vulnerabilty can be looked as an opportunity for growth.

If my husband lost his job it would be a chance for him to pursue new avenues of interest.

If you open yourself up to motherhood (or fatherhood) that allows you to grow in patience, love, generosity, and to see the world again through new eyes.

If you open yourself up to your partner to share your needs or the ways in which you have changed, then there is the opportunity to deepen your relationship.

Most importantly is becomming vulnerable to yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and see who is there. Have you changed? Are you just walking through life? What is missing? What did you set aside? Is there something or someone that you want? Is it worth the uncomfortable feeling of being vulnerable to get what you want, love who you need to love, or be who you should be?

Peace.

Headed to the Lake

Today is my last day at work before heading off to Deep Creek Lake for a couple of days. Every year our wonderful friends the Curtis Family invite us to spend a few days with them at their family home on the lake. This will be our fourth year and we are grateful every year tobe included. Our kids are crazy about the lake and look forward to the annual visit. They are anxious to see Clay, Connor, and Addie and catch up.

Not only are we invited but four other families are as well. We all get to relax in an amazing and comfortable lake house in an environment of controlled chaos. There are 14+ kids running around - swimming, tubing, having light sabre fights, playing video games - while the adults are content to sit, chat, play bocce, and fuel our relaxtion with cold beverages.

I love going because I get to see one one my best gals - Kelly. Since her move to Jax, we see each other twice a year (more if we are lucky). In addition my other best gals are there as well. It's really soul nourishing to be able to spend some down time with them.

I love DC. It is my home without a doubt. But, I value this annual escape to the mountains for a little break from the day-to-day. A little sit. A boat ride. A jump in the lake. A little nap. A few glasses of wine. S'mores. Perfection.

DCL - here we come.

Peace.

Breathe Easy

Earlier this week my Aunt was the recipient of a left lung transplant at the University of Maryland Hospital in Baltimore. For the past few years she has been living on oxygen as she battled a genetic lung disease that I can't even begin to pronounce. The procedure was a success and she is doing really well according to the updates I am receiving from family.

I am always amazed at the ability to improve or prolong human life through the death of another. Organ donation is so important. We humans talk about our legacy. How will we be remembered when we are gone? Organ donation is one way to leave a legacy of life, of giving, of recognizing that we are all part of the same human family. We need each other in life and in death.

We waste too much time on our differences when it is the things we have in common that are most important - we all have hearts that beat, lungs that breathe in sweet air, eyes that see, and vital organs that keep us going. Being willing to share those things we have in common with another person after you die is perhaps the greatest thing you can ever do. Think of the lives you change, the lives you save, the impact on the families. All of this is bigger than we are.

I send a prayer of Thanksgiving to the man who allowed his usable organs to be harvested to save or change the lives of so many people even as he lost his. Thanks to him, Sam's mom, my Dad's sister, my aunt Janet will breathe easier and be more comfortable in this next phase of her life.

Are you an organ donor? I am.

Peace.

Red Line

Yesterday the Washington Metro Rail system experienced the deadliest crash in the history of the service - 33 years. It gave all of us who ride the red line pause. I know accidents can happen anytime, anyplace, and in any mode of transportation. You are never 100% safe. I am a huge fan of metro - it gets me where I want to go without the hassles of traffic, I get to read a lot, and I think if it as one small way I can reduce my carbon footprint. When you ride everyday, at the roughly the same time, you start to recognize the folks who share the daily journey with you.

The accident yesterday was beyond terrible. I have heard reports that as many as 9 people died. The small grace is that the two trains involved were headed INTO the city. At 5:00pm most people are headed OUT OF the city. I cannot imagine the devastation of the accident had happened in the other direction.

It seems like everyone I know who lives on my end of the red line was supposed to be on the train that was moving OUT OF the city - myself included. Those of us who leave the office around 4:30 in the afternoon, end up hitting that stretch of track right around the five o'clock hour. I had to pause last night and take in the fact that but for the grace of God.

My heart is broken for those folks who lost their lives. I'm working from home today while they clean up the accident site. I am looking forward to seeing my red line peeps soon.

Even after yesterday, I still believe that metro is the ride for me.

Peace.

Training Update

So, yes, I am still training for the Chicago Marathon - although I haven't blogged about my training in awhile. Throughout late March, April, May, and early June I was focusing on getting my body moving again. As of last week, I was supposed to start the official marathon training program. But alas, I had to delay the start of the program by a week because I injured my ankle.

It wasn't a bad injury - I rolled it after drinking too much. For me, I think the warning should be do not drink and walk.

But, I started the training plan this week - only a week behind the official schedule. It amazes me how quickly my body forgets what it accomplished. But, I pushed through and will continue to do so. My goal for this marathon is to finish in less than 5 hours and 30 minutes. I can see myself doing this - visualization is key.

So I am back out there, working through the miles and seeing myself cross the finish line - strong and within my goal time.

Peace.

He Gets Me

I haven't written in awhile. I always feel like I have a lot to say and then when I sit down to get it out - nothing.

Today, I write about gratitude. I try to walk through each day aware that all I have and that everything around me is indeed a blessing -although at times the blessing may be in disguise. Today I am feeling gratitude a bit more. How do you acknowledge a gift so extraordinary that words fail?

My gift is that I have a husband who gets me. All he has ever wanted is my happiness. I am sure that seems like something most spouses want for each other. But over the last 16 years, mine has spent an inordinant amount of time listening to me and really trying to understand my needs and wants. He has come through with material things from cute shoes to little blue boxes but more importantly he has supported the less materialistic needs - understanding when I just need to be quiet, the weekends away to allow my thoughts to become clear, the long talks where I spell it out and he gets it. How amazing is that?

And when I think I might be bringing up something that is too "out there", I am surprised that it is not. Although maybe I shouldn't be. He gets it. He gets me. And I get what I want and what I need. Clearly - a blessing.

I would never take this amazing gift for granted. So my love goes out to my husband - thanks for understanding and for loving me.

Peace.

Maryland Day

What a gorgeous day to pack up the family and head over to College Park for Maryland Day. Every year on the last Saturday in April, the University holds a mega open house with tons of booths, activities, performances, etc. We try to go each year.

I have a special fondness for College Park and for the University. I was clueless when I arrived at UM in the fall of 1985. I was a small town girl from Aberdeen, Maryland (although Aberdeen has grown to be a Baltimore suburb over the past 25 years). I had never eaten a bagel or Chinese food. My fashion sense was a mess. I was socially awkward. And I thought I was a Republican.

I am a smart gal but you would never know it by looking at my undergrad transcripts. I was a mediocre student at UM. During my time at Maryland, I felt like the world opened up. I spent a lot of time breaking out of my shell. I met people from other countries and a wide array of religious beliefs. I was exposed to college radio, frat boys, sorority rush, socials, the Vous, Spring Break, art, sports, alternative lifestyles, alternative thoughts, political debate, booze, drugs, love, betrayal, happy hours, late nights, great friends. It was an expensive place to learn lessons but the payoff was confidence, leadership skills, networking abilities, an open mind to opposing views. I also did end up with a degree in English Language and Literature.

I count the time spent at UM as some of the best in my life. I have a cadre of friends I am still close to. I fell in love for the first time. I got my heart broken. I met my husband. I learned to think, feel, and understand.

So today, I took myself on a trip down memory lane. It was grand.

Peace - and GO Terps!
Tee

Cross Country Kids

So I decided that I would volunteer as a parent coach for the Cross Country Kids group at my children's school. I figure it would be a great way for me to do some running in support of my training for Chicago. Yesterday was the first day. Remember the episode of Friends where Phoebe asks Rachel to go running with her? And then Rachel is embarassed because Phoebe goes full out and runs like a crazy person? That was yesterday. Those kids were flying around the course - arms and legs flying. They didn't give a hoot about form, breathing techniques, twisting their ankle running down the hill. They just ran. It was magical.

Adults take all of the fun out of some of the most simple things. We rarely dive in and play all out like kids do. It's a shame. Yesterday was pure joy.

I am already looking forward to the next session. The kids remind me to just run - and do it for fun.

Peace.
Tee

The Doc Says

So I went in for my once over with the chiropractor. Her words to me when I told her I wanted her help in staying healthy while I train for this marathon - "Bless Your Heart." If you are from the south or gre up with southern relatives, then you know that "Bless Your Heart" is code for a lot of things - one of them - she's sweet but boy is she nuts.

But, I adore my chiropractor and she has agreed to help me get going and stay going on ths training plan. Even though, one leg is a tad shorter than the other, I have arthritis in my lower back and my knees and ankles need special attention. Which I am sure makes people wonder, what the hell are you doing this for.

First and foremost for me. I love running and I do better when I have something I am training for. I started running seriously in college in 1989 to work through the grief of a relationship that had ended and to deal with the craziness of the "rebound" relationship. Running not only helped me get my head clear but I was in the best shape of my life - 6 miles a day will do that for you. Over the years I have drifted away from running for periods of time but I always end up lacing up the shoes again. It feels good to be back out there.

So, twice weekly visits to Dr. G. will help keep me tuned up and logging the miles. Right now I am sticking to three and four miles pre-training runs and cross training. The longer runs start in June. So far, I feel good.

Peace.

Tee

The Road to Chicago - Pre-training Day One

Okay - so the official training program for the Chicago Marathon starts on June 1st. So, I figured I would use the next two months to get my butt back out on the road and get used to moving again. Today was day one of the pre-training period. The hysterical thing is that I almost talked myself out of going. I left work, ran Cate to the doctor's, picked up a pizza, and by the time I got home it was 6:00pm. I could hear the gremlin in the back of my head saying - "start tomorrow". But how many tomorrows will there be before there is today?

So, I laced up my shoes, put the dog on the leash (Clover could stand to lose a pound or two) and headed out the door. I wanted to log as many miles as I could before it got too dark and the park trails became too creepy. Happy to say I put in three miles.

I decided to walk the miles today because I haven't had the prerequisite "don't start an exercise program without consulting your doctor" visit to the doctor yet. That happens Wednesday. It's funny they say 40 is the new 20. Maybe in attitude - but the chassis still has 42 years of wear and tear. I plan to work very closely with my chiropractor and my ortho guy to keep this old girl running strong.

Peace.
Tee

Lace up the Shoes

Running is the only sport I ever really embraced. In running there is the wonderful opportunity to not only get your body in shape, but your mind as well. I love runners. The running community is welcoming, they don't care what you look like or if you are fast or slow. If you've got your shoes on, and you're out there logging the miles, then that is all that matters.

I have completed two marathons, a few 10 milers and a bunch of 5ks. I haven't run or raced in awhile because I have let myself get out of shape - weight, motivation, etc. But now that I have lost almost 20 pounds, I feel like I want to get my shoes on again and work at getting in shape. So, to give me a goal to work towards, I have registered for the Chicago Marathon. I love Chicago and their marathon is one that I have always wanted to run. So I have six and a half months to get ready for 26.2 miles. I have to say, I am excited to get started.

I have not been active in my blog in the past months. So, I think as part of my training plan, I will blog my training highs and lows here from now until the big day (with a smattering of other ramblings thrown in).

So, keep this creaky old body in your prayers as I start racking up the miles. Better yet, come to Chicago and cheer me on. Sunday, October 11, 2009.

Peace, love, and miles.
Tee

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is not usually a big deal in our house. I always make sure the kids have the valentines for their parties at school and I appreciate their hand made cards each year. But my husband and I have always been low key.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about love. I am not very traditional in my views about love. I figure you love who you love and in most cases it is bigger than you are. I have my own take on the phenomena of Love of Your Life. I think there is another level to the discussion. I think people have a Love OF Their Life and a Love FOR Their Life. And for many people they are not always the same person.

I am one of those people. I am happily married to the Love FOR My Life and can't imagine life without him. The Love FOR My Life is in it for the long haul - all of the bumps, detours, stretch marks, mortgages, kids, dreams, fears, and crazy that life generally hands out. This is a love that is steady, sustainable, sweet, strong...

I have a Love OF My Life. He was instrumental in helping me grow into the woman I am today. He shaped my political and social beliefs, he challenged me intellectually. Our relationship was based on heat, passion. We burned the candle at both ends. It was a relationship that couldn't sustain itself in that moment. I have no doubt that he loved me and I loved him - I always will. But, he ended up leaving for California. I stayed in Maryland. As it is wont to do, life went on. He found his path and I found mine.

Both of our paths have given us a lot - love, family, children, career fulfillment, happiness.

I recently saw my Of My Life man. In many ways it was as if no time had passed. It was easy talk and to catch up. In that moment twenty odd years ago, it was painful to lose the Love OF My Life but that loss led me to all that I am blessed with today. I think we both appreciated what time had done for both of us.

Peace and Love.