Today, I am the mother of a teenage boy. I am both excited and terrified and also very, very weepy.
Thirteen years ago, my life was turned upside down when after nine months, fifty-pounds (damn Kraft Macaroni and Cheese) and 19 hours of labor, Larry said to me "Oh Baby! He's here!"
Connor Ethan Lawrence entered the world - all 8lbs 2oz of him - on March 15th, 1999. Larry got to hold Connor first, then they cleaned him up and after a few moments, I was handed a baby and instantly became someone's mother.
And he was gorgeous. I fell totally in love.
After everyone had gone home for the night and it was me and him alone in the hospital, I was overwhelmed with the knowledge that Larry and I were responsible for raising this brand new baby into a kind, loving, productive member of society. Honestly, I wasn't sure I was even those things so how the hell was I gonna be that example for someone else. I got out of the hospital bed and picked Connor up from the baby box (they called it a bassinet but really people - it was more like a shopping cart) and tucked him into bed with me. And I stared at him all night.
And then someone hit the fast forward button. We came home from the hospital and began to experience and document every milestone (we spent a small fortune developing film). Larry and I were constantly (and still are) amazed at the fact that this wonder was the product of the two of us.
Since March 15, 1999, we have watched this wonder move through the Elmo phase, the Matchbox phase, the Thomas the Tank Engine phase, the Rescue Hero phase, the Pirate phase, the Star Wars phase, and into the Gamer phase. What will be next?
The last few weeks I have been terribly weepy and nostalgic - missing my baby. Yet, I am also very excited to see the person he is becoming and to watch him navigate the waters of young adulthood.
Happy 13th Birthday to the reason I am a mother, the person who took us from a couple to a family and to my inspiration to be a better person.
What a lucky mom I am.
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