With Father's Day tomorrow I think this is a good time for me to do a blog post to celebrate the men in my life. So here goes.
My Dad - Anyone who meets my Dad, loves my Dad. He gives lollipops to the people in the toll booths. My PopPop was also a happy guy and Dad reminds me of him. One time when my Dad was having an MRI done on his head, the technician called my step-mother over to point out that my dad's brain looked like a smiley face. I learned to love sports sitting on his lap watching the Colts, the Orioles and the Terps play. When I spoke at my Dad's 50th Birthday party I spoke about how my Dad and I grew up together. He was 18 when I was born. I was an adult at his 40th birthday party. I am 44 and Dad still calls me Baby Girl and still reaches for my hand if we are crossing a street together. My siblings and I are lucky to have him and our kids are lucky to have a such a great PopPop.
My Husband - I met the "B" over 20 years ago - in a bar - and we became friends immediately. We bonded over March birthdays and beer at the Vous. In many ways I think that the foundation built on friendship is key to the success of our relationship today. Marriage is never easy, but it is made more so by being with a partner who is willing to love you, hate you, grow with you, talk to you, listen to you, let you fly when you need to, disagree with you, fight with you, apologize, and realize that it is all part of the ride. The "B" does all of that (with a little spoiling thrown in for good measure). And everyday I am grateful for such a partner and that he is the father of our children.
My Son - Twelve years ago I became a mother when my beautiful baby son was born. And although not technically a man, as he grows and takes the steps to becoming a young man, I am overwhelmed at the potential and the possibility all mixed up with attitude, long hair and skinny jeans. He challenges me everyday to be a better, more patient, more flexible, more loving person. Being in the tweenage/teenage weeds is rough but as I see glimpses of the person he is growing to be I know it is all worth it.
Peace and Happy Father's Day.
Tee
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
I was in bed this morning relishing the opportunity to sleep in a little on a weekday. I heard Connor moving around as he got up and got himself ready for school. I called out to him and he knocked and came into my room. "Good morning, Buby" I say. He walks around the bed and crawls in for a quick cuddle and a chat about his day and the fact that I left lunch money on his binder. Connor then hopped up and went on with his morning routine.
After he left I was struck by the smell of him. He smells like deodorant and hair product. He smells like a grown up - a man. This hits me like a ton of bricks and I am instantly awake. And I remember that other smell - the newborn smell - and realize that that smell will never be mine again - at least not as a mother. And my heart aches.
And it makes me realize that this is not just about Connor but also about Cate. She has gone from a quiet, shy little one who was often in her brother's shadow, to a young girl who is wishing for waves in her hair and speaks her mind more confidently.
And it is a potent reminder that as they age, so do I. And that makes me freak out just a little
I realize that the whole growing up thing is inevitable and that I have helped it along through my constant encouragement that they tackle life head on. But the smell of my boy with his Old Spice deodorant reminds me that time goes too quickly and I realize that I would give anything for just one chance to hold my babies again, and to smell them again.
Peace.
After he left I was struck by the smell of him. He smells like deodorant and hair product. He smells like a grown up - a man. This hits me like a ton of bricks and I am instantly awake. And I remember that other smell - the newborn smell - and realize that that smell will never be mine again - at least not as a mother. And my heart aches.
And it makes me realize that this is not just about Connor but also about Cate. She has gone from a quiet, shy little one who was often in her brother's shadow, to a young girl who is wishing for waves in her hair and speaks her mind more confidently.
And it is a potent reminder that as they age, so do I. And that makes me freak out just a little
I realize that the whole growing up thing is inevitable and that I have helped it along through my constant encouragement that they tackle life head on. But the smell of my boy with his Old Spice deodorant reminds me that time goes too quickly and I realize that I would give anything for just one chance to hold my babies again, and to smell them again.
Peace.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Breaking an Addiction
I am an addict. There. I said it. Isn't that the first step to conquering an addiction? Admitting that the addiction exists.
I am addicted to the bottle - the hair color bottle. I have been coloring my hair since I was a freshman in college - 26 years. It started with Sun In and grew from there. I have been coloring my hair for so long, I no longer remember what my original hair color is.
I used to dye my hair because it was fun and let's face it, hair is meant to be used for fun. Then, I found my first gray hair - which was quickly followed by more - and dying my hair was my way of staying one step ahead of age.
But I am becoming exhausted and my wallet is taking a hit trying to stay ahead of the gray. Almost as soon as the color is finished processing, my lovely gray Lily Munster streak starts to come through. So, I am wondering if it's time to check in to hair color rehab.
The problem is, I don't want to just stop coloring my hair and let it grow out so that eventually I have two-tone hair before cutting off the old color. I honestly don't think I could handle that. So, I am seriously considering taking a kamikaze approach to going gray and cutting my hair very short - a la Mia Farrow - thus cutting off all of the color and letting my natural hair grow in.
I have a friend who beat her bottle addiction by close cropping her hair and letting it grow out to her natural color. And her hair is gorgeous - it's silvery gray and doesn't age her. I am terrified that if I do this it will be the opposite result. I am afraid my hair is going to come in looking like salt and cayenne and make me look old.
Can I drown out the siren song of Revlon and L'Oreal and allow my hair to age gracefully?
I am addicted to the bottle - the hair color bottle. I have been coloring my hair since I was a freshman in college - 26 years. It started with Sun In and grew from there. I have been coloring my hair for so long, I no longer remember what my original hair color is.
I used to dye my hair because it was fun and let's face it, hair is meant to be used for fun. Then, I found my first gray hair - which was quickly followed by more - and dying my hair was my way of staying one step ahead of age.
But I am becoming exhausted and my wallet is taking a hit trying to stay ahead of the gray. Almost as soon as the color is finished processing, my lovely gray Lily Munster streak starts to come through. So, I am wondering if it's time to check in to hair color rehab.
The problem is, I don't want to just stop coloring my hair and let it grow out so that eventually I have two-tone hair before cutting off the old color. I honestly don't think I could handle that. So, I am seriously considering taking a kamikaze approach to going gray and cutting my hair very short - a la Mia Farrow - thus cutting off all of the color and letting my natural hair grow in.
I have a friend who beat her bottle addiction by close cropping her hair and letting it grow out to her natural color. And her hair is gorgeous - it's silvery gray and doesn't age her. I am terrified that if I do this it will be the opposite result. I am afraid my hair is going to come in looking like salt and cayenne and make me look old.
Can I drown out the siren song of Revlon and L'Oreal and allow my hair to age gracefully?
Friday, November 26, 2010
The Road to Life My Way
Three years ago this month, I decided to go into business for myself as an Independent Arbonne Consultant. It was not my first foray into network marketing. I had tried the concept before - with other companies - but I had never found a company or a product line that appealed to me as much as Arbonne. I had found my "tribe".
But wait minute, I have a job. A good job that pays a decent wage. Why was I looking for something else? Well, I want more from life than what my job can offer me. I go to work everyday and use all of my talents to make the organization look good and I have to do it on their terms. I want to live life on my terms - not 9 to 5 and on a per hour basis.
Network Marketing, or Multi-level Marketing has been around for years. Many established brands and companies are network marketing companies. Arbonne has been in business for over 30 years - longer than many brick and mortar stores. Donald Trump started his own network marketing company last year. Robert Kiyosaki encourages people who work for him to pursue network marketing opportunities as part time jobs. Warren Buffet owns Pampered Chef. Network Marketing is taught in Harvard Business School.
Network marketing removes the "middle men" and the associated expenses and allows consumers access to high quality products at a reasonable price. Arbonne researches and develops botanical swiss skin care. Swiss skin care is considered ultra-premium, is the best in the world, and is out of reach for the average consumer. Selling the products through a network of consultants not only allows for consumer access but also for the development of many small businesses. And small businesses give back to their communities - charitable donations, little league sponsorships, tax revenue, and the like.
Many people don't realize that they network market every day. When someone asks me where I bought my jeans, or shoes, or handbag and I tell them the name of the store, the store took advantage of my network. But I am not getting paid for the referral. When they ask me why my skin looks so great and I introduce them to Arbonne, then my networking pays off for me.
Network Marketing allows people the opportunity to build their own businesses - personal franchises - without the financial investment of a traditional franchise. Brick and mortar stores can require an investment of several hundred thousand dollars and intensive time and inventory. And if they fail, there is the matter of the debt created to start the business. I started my business for less than $100 and I have no debt and no inventory. If I walked away tomorrow, I would be left with amazing products that I use everyday anyway.
Building this business has not been easy. It is a simple concept and it requires time and attention. You set your own pace for success. I have had highs and lows. Recently, my business slowed when I was dealing with some personal stress. However, quitting was never an option - I believe in the network marketing model. So this fall I redefined my goals and relaunched my business. As I work to rebuild it, I will blog about the ups and downs of working to achieve the goals I set for myself.
Peace.
But wait minute, I have a job. A good job that pays a decent wage. Why was I looking for something else? Well, I want more from life than what my job can offer me. I go to work everyday and use all of my talents to make the organization look good and I have to do it on their terms. I want to live life on my terms - not 9 to 5 and on a per hour basis.
Network Marketing, or Multi-level Marketing has been around for years. Many established brands and companies are network marketing companies. Arbonne has been in business for over 30 years - longer than many brick and mortar stores. Donald Trump started his own network marketing company last year. Robert Kiyosaki encourages people who work for him to pursue network marketing opportunities as part time jobs. Warren Buffet owns Pampered Chef. Network Marketing is taught in Harvard Business School.
Network marketing removes the "middle men" and the associated expenses and allows consumers access to high quality products at a reasonable price. Arbonne researches and develops botanical swiss skin care. Swiss skin care is considered ultra-premium, is the best in the world, and is out of reach for the average consumer. Selling the products through a network of consultants not only allows for consumer access but also for the development of many small businesses. And small businesses give back to their communities - charitable donations, little league sponsorships, tax revenue, and the like.
Many people don't realize that they network market every day. When someone asks me where I bought my jeans, or shoes, or handbag and I tell them the name of the store, the store took advantage of my network. But I am not getting paid for the referral. When they ask me why my skin looks so great and I introduce them to Arbonne, then my networking pays off for me.
Building this business has not been easy. It is a simple concept and it requires time and attention. You set your own pace for success. I have had highs and lows. Recently, my business slowed when I was dealing with some personal stress. However, quitting was never an option - I believe in the network marketing model. So this fall I redefined my goals and relaunched my business. As I work to rebuild it, I will blog about the ups and downs of working to achieve the goals I set for myself.
Peace.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wading into the Fray
I have been hesitant to wade into the fray about the mosque site near Ground Zero. I am firm in my belief that everyone has a right to their own opinion and I try to listen patiently - even when I disagree. I'm not always successful.
I believe - firmly - that there is no one path to God. Until someone has a seat next to God and tells me otherwise, all paths, when practiced with faith and love, are legitimate.
A couple of things about this national discussion bother me.
1. I see so many people on FaceBook "liking" the I do not support a Mosque 600 feet from Ground Zero page. In checking the facts, I learned that the Cordoba site is 1/4 mile away from the WTC site. 1/4 mile is 1,320 feet. Additionally, the building plan is for a community center with a place for prayer - in a building that looks like any other city building. No middle eastern architecture - minarets, domes, spires, etc. No calls to prayer over loud speakers.
2. I had a friend post on FB asking who Obama is working for when he expresses that the center should be allowed to be built. My hopeful answer to the friend's question is - I hope the President is working for a country built on religious freedom, a people composed of many faiths and one that respects private property rights.
3. The discussion hardly seems to contain references to the many Muslim Americans who died in the attacks of September 11. As pointed out by Matt Sledge in the Huffington Post, the World Trade Center site itself is already a place for Muslim prayer; by the families who lost their loved ones the day of the attacks.
4. I hear so many people call the building of the Cordoba center an insult to the memory of those who died on 9/11. I believe the bigger insult lies in many members of Congress blocking a move to provide lifetime medical care to the men and women who responded to the tragedy and suffer numerous maladies. Those people deserve our care.
5. Why are we so afraid of each other? No matter how define ourselves - Christian, Muslim, Irish, Italian, Jewish, Latin, Gay, Straight, etc. - we are all Americans. If you don't understand something that is different than you or your beliefs, ask questions. Most world religions are built on the same foundations - just using different languages.
6. Building on the Cordoba site is insensitive. But really, Islam is not responsible for the deaths on 9/11. Radical nut jobs with a distorted view of the Koran did. To say Islam is responsible is like saying all Christians are responsible for the guy who protests at military funerals, or for Timothy McVie who bombed the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City. Both President Bush and President Obama has said that our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are not against Islam.
7. Building on the site is a sign of Triumph or Domination. As Curt Day wrote in OpEd News, if we use the sign of triumph and domination arguement, then couldn't the same be said for every Christian Church built in a non-Christian country? Is the difference that one of the religions is not Christian?
The day the towers fell rocked me to my core. It is my hope that the lingering pain of 9/11 does not turn us into the people we most fear - radical nut jobs who have lost tolerance and are determined to group all people from one faith/one country/one region into the category of those who should be feared.
Peace.
I believe - firmly - that there is no one path to God. Until someone has a seat next to God and tells me otherwise, all paths, when practiced with faith and love, are legitimate.
A couple of things about this national discussion bother me.
1. I see so many people on FaceBook "liking" the I do not support a Mosque 600 feet from Ground Zero page. In checking the facts, I learned that the Cordoba site is 1/4 mile away from the WTC site. 1/4 mile is 1,320 feet. Additionally, the building plan is for a community center with a place for prayer - in a building that looks like any other city building. No middle eastern architecture - minarets, domes, spires, etc. No calls to prayer over loud speakers.
2. I had a friend post on FB asking who Obama is working for when he expresses that the center should be allowed to be built. My hopeful answer to the friend's question is - I hope the President is working for a country built on religious freedom, a people composed of many faiths and one that respects private property rights.
3. The discussion hardly seems to contain references to the many Muslim Americans who died in the attacks of September 11. As pointed out by Matt Sledge in the Huffington Post, the World Trade Center site itself is already a place for Muslim prayer; by the families who lost their loved ones the day of the attacks.
4. I hear so many people call the building of the Cordoba center an insult to the memory of those who died on 9/11. I believe the bigger insult lies in many members of Congress blocking a move to provide lifetime medical care to the men and women who responded to the tragedy and suffer numerous maladies. Those people deserve our care.
5. Why are we so afraid of each other? No matter how define ourselves - Christian, Muslim, Irish, Italian, Jewish, Latin, Gay, Straight, etc. - we are all Americans. If you don't understand something that is different than you or your beliefs, ask questions. Most world religions are built on the same foundations - just using different languages.
6. Building on the Cordoba site is insensitive. But really, Islam is not responsible for the deaths on 9/11. Radical nut jobs with a distorted view of the Koran did. To say Islam is responsible is like saying all Christians are responsible for the guy who protests at military funerals, or for Timothy McVie who bombed the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City. Both President Bush and President Obama has said that our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are not against Islam.
7. Building on the site is a sign of Triumph or Domination. As Curt Day wrote in OpEd News, if we use the sign of triumph and domination arguement, then couldn't the same be said for every Christian Church built in a non-Christian country? Is the difference that one of the religions is not Christian?
The day the towers fell rocked me to my core. It is my hope that the lingering pain of 9/11 does not turn us into the people we most fear - radical nut jobs who have lost tolerance and are determined to group all people from one faith/one country/one region into the category of those who should be feared.
Peace.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Censor Mom - NOT!
I just read my friend Johnna's blog (http://itsmylife-johnna.blogspot.com/2010/06/raising-confident-independent-children.html) about raising independent, confident children. Good stuff. Reading her blog got me thinking.
I think I am a good mom. And, frankly, I am flying by the seat of my pants when it comes to mothering because I did not have a strong example. But, I have also felt different as a mother. I really don't want this post to be an attack on other women's mothering choices - You raise your kids your way. And women are too critical of each other anyway. However, I do want to give voice to one of my differences.
I am not a censor mom. I started out trying to keep up with everyone and not let my kids watch or listen to things that were rated above them. It's crazy. We recently implemented a cut back on the amount of TV and video games we watch each week. Not because of the content but because it became a time suck.
I believe that film and music and - to some degree - TV are art. I have tried to shield my kids from overt sex and violence for the sake of violence and really mature themes and I think I have been successful. But my kids have watched Grease (said one mom - "You let your kids watch Grease! They talk about pregnancy.") and Road Warrior along with Shrek and the Incredibles.
My kids and I sing along in the car and have dance parties in our house to rock and rap music.
Besides, have you actually sat and watched "kids shows"? Most of the live action humor comes from cut downs, sly insults, making fun of the class dweeb, disrespect for teachers, parents who are buffoons, etc. How on earth is that better for our kids to watch? I find that my kids are mouthier and more disrespectful after watching those types of programs than after anything we watch together.
I think popular culture opens doors for discussion with our kids. For example when my son has a question about rap lyrics (especially if they are not Old School) we have an honest discussion about respect for women and getting caught up in material possessions and the concept of "Swagger". Old School rap allows for a discussion about poverty, frustration, and the need to look for opportunity around you. My kids and I sing classic rock songs together and we talk about what things were like 30 years ago (they love hearing about when I was younger - Connor says "Back when everything was in black and white.").
Movies and television allow for discussions about how we interact with each other as a people, the difference between right and wrong, crime never pays, true love, etc.
People ask me, "Do you really have those types of conversations with your kids?" You bet I do. My kids know they can ask me anything. I might giggle, squirm or be uncomfortable but I am always honest, I stay at their level and I try not to over share.
Peace.
I think I am a good mom. And, frankly, I am flying by the seat of my pants when it comes to mothering because I did not have a strong example. But, I have also felt different as a mother. I really don't want this post to be an attack on other women's mothering choices - You raise your kids your way. And women are too critical of each other anyway. However, I do want to give voice to one of my differences.
I am not a censor mom. I started out trying to keep up with everyone and not let my kids watch or listen to things that were rated above them. It's crazy. We recently implemented a cut back on the amount of TV and video games we watch each week. Not because of the content but because it became a time suck.
I believe that film and music and - to some degree - TV are art. I have tried to shield my kids from overt sex and violence for the sake of violence and really mature themes and I think I have been successful. But my kids have watched Grease (said one mom - "You let your kids watch Grease! They talk about pregnancy.") and Road Warrior along with Shrek and the Incredibles.
My kids and I sing along in the car and have dance parties in our house to rock and rap music.
Besides, have you actually sat and watched "kids shows"? Most of the live action humor comes from cut downs, sly insults, making fun of the class dweeb, disrespect for teachers, parents who are buffoons, etc. How on earth is that better for our kids to watch? I find that my kids are mouthier and more disrespectful after watching those types of programs than after anything we watch together.
I think popular culture opens doors for discussion with our kids. For example when my son has a question about rap lyrics (especially if they are not Old School) we have an honest discussion about respect for women and getting caught up in material possessions and the concept of "Swagger". Old School rap allows for a discussion about poverty, frustration, and the need to look for opportunity around you. My kids and I sing classic rock songs together and we talk about what things were like 30 years ago (they love hearing about when I was younger - Connor says "Back when everything was in black and white.").
Movies and television allow for discussions about how we interact with each other as a people, the difference between right and wrong, crime never pays, true love, etc.
People ask me, "Do you really have those types of conversations with your kids?" You bet I do. My kids know they can ask me anything. I might giggle, squirm or be uncomfortable but I am always honest, I stay at their level and I try not to over share.
Peace.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
A Chapter Closes
Today, we went to the school to "Clap Out" the 5th Grade class. Clapping Out is a really charming, lovely ceremony where the school community - parents, teachers, staff, and other students - line the halls to applaud the fifth grade class as they leave the building for the last time. Some kids were stoic, some were excited, and many were bawling their eyes out. I can imagine how they felt - leaving the little pond isn't easy. My son is uncomfortable with anything overly emotional - he just wanted to get a Slurpee.
Six years ago, my son finished pre-school and I was terrified of him starting kindergarten in "Big School". Now, he has finished "Big School" and is moving on to an even bigger school. Middle School scares the hell out of me. I have this vision of the inmates running the asylum - all hormones and aggression and drama. And even scarier is the thought of my kid riding the middle school bus. The whole thing makes me want to go fetal.
Friends who have gone through Middle School assure me that we'll emerge on the other side just fine. We'll see. My fingers, toes, and eyes are all crossed. And I wonder if my parenting skills are up for it.
Six years ago, my son finished pre-school and I was terrified of him starting kindergarten in "Big School". Now, he has finished "Big School" and is moving on to an even bigger school. Middle School scares the hell out of me. I have this vision of the inmates running the asylum - all hormones and aggression and drama. And even scarier is the thought of my kid riding the middle school bus. The whole thing makes me want to go fetal.
Friends who have gone through Middle School assure me that we'll emerge on the other side just fine. We'll see. My fingers, toes, and eyes are all crossed. And I wonder if my parenting skills are up for it.
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