Right now, the biggest thing in my life that is causing me anxiety is how fast my children are growing up. I feel like time is rushing by and sweeping my small wonderful babies away from me and replacing them with even more wonderful people. It'a all too fast. And lately, I have been so busy at work and traveling that it feels like someone hit the fast forward button.
I have quite literally had episodes where I couldn't get my breath when I realized my son will be 10 in March. Sometimes I look at my daughter and see her dedicated to completing her homework and I wonder who is that determined girl sitting there.
I realized that I will never stop time and that my children will be gone sooner than I'd like but, I think I may have figured out a way to at least slow it down for small chunks of each day. It isn't rocket science and there are parents out there who already do this but the simple thing is that for a moment in the day, I chose my kids and gave myself fully to them instead of trying to be attentive while doing several other things.
On Monday, we took our son to buy a new skateboard. I let myself settle into the moment. I didn't hurry him to make his selections because there were five other things I needed to do. I engaged in a conversation with him about the deck, trucks, and wheels he was choosing. I enjoyed watching him talk about what he knows about skating. I noticed how good his manners were. I was in the moment and for the briefest instant, I could feel time slow down.
Yesterday, I came home from work and instead of hopping on the computer or even starting dinner, I spent time with my daughter teaching her how to ride her skateboard. It wasn't a huge chunk of time but I devoted my attention to her and helping her gain the confidence to ride and even to fall. And for the briefest instant, I could feel time slow down.
To give credit where credit is due - it was actually my husband who helped me to realize that these were the opportunities I needed to slow time since I'll never succeed in stopping it. It's amazing how committing yourself to one thing, one person, one activity for even a small part of the day can help slow down the passage of time and in the process contribute more positively to your memory bank.
Even so, the kids are still growing too fast. Peace.
2 comments:
Nice post, Tee. Have you ever read any of the FISH philosophy books? There is one called "FISH for Life" - one of the four tenets is that you "Be there", in other words be completely present in the moment. It is so hard to do that when you are a mom, because you are constantly thinking about the four or five other things you have to do. Thanks for the reminder!
I agree. It's so hard to do as a mom to stop and be present in the moment - thinking about the zillion other things you need to do is so powerful. But you're right - I have a memory of a spontaneous tea party with Katie a couple years ago - and whatever else needed to get done was still there waiting when we finished. Great lesson to be reminded of.
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